“So Scared of Getting Older, I’m Only Good At Being Young”

Take a line from a song that you love or connect with. Now forget the song, and turn that line into the title or inspiration for your post.

The song “Stop this Train” by John Mayer is the type of song that I can listen to repeatedly and just have a good cry. It’s about not wanting to grow up, and I can relate to that all too well. As a kid, all I wanted was to grow up, I was ashamed to act like the child that I was in public. I would try to carry myself as older and if I was offered the kids menu at a restaurant  I would become enraged that people still saw me as a little kid. The second I turned 13 however, I realized that I had no desire to grow up. I did not want to move on to high school, I wanted to stay where I was comfortable, but obviously that was not an option and I was thrust into high school. I actually ended up falling in love with everything about high school. I loved my sports teams, my friends, my classmates, and my friends. Life was good and I was not looking forward to college, but once again here I am, only a few years away from starting my real life. I am terrified. I’m scared of getting a real job, of living on my own, and of only having myself to depend on. I still sing and dance around in stores! I still call my mom when I get sick! I still order off of the kids menu at Friendlys! How can they expect me to be a grown up?!?! It is so scary. I feel like my soul is still only 15 years old, and yet people my age are already having babies. I don’t want to lose my parents. I am so afraid of growing up. “Stop this train, I want to get off and go home again, I can’t take the speed it’s moving in.” I just want to pause life and stop the process of growing up. Is that so much to ask?

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s